Insomniacs

 

♥3 months left before we tie the knot! ♥

These past few days have been exceptionally tough on our bodies. Being on shift does have its perks as well as negatives. Having 6 days off is wonderful however,switching between day-shift and night-shift is awful. The first day off is always a write-off because we have to switch back to regular human hours and drive 5 hours to the city. We’ll try to split the drive between us so we’ll both get some rest. It’s a very uneventful, dreary and tedious ride with the occasional greetings from the RCMP. Doing this road trip every 6 days can take a toll on you. We got beaten up pretty bad this set off and we’ve been having a hard time falling asleep past couple nights. Even Melatonin was useless against our body clock.

4 am conversations.

A : Are you still awake?  

R :  Motha’ f*cker! We’re so fked tmr @!#!%#@$!@%#@^%##@$!@$!

Imagine a permanent hangover and djembe  drums playing in your head all day long …. for 3 days !

I wouldn’t wish it upon my second worst enemy. Adam was doing far better than me. The first morning after a sleepless night was awful. I never thought I’d ever experience fainting ’til that day. I got out of bed to pee and the next thing I know, I was on the floor staring at Adam. Apparently I toppled over before I even made it to the toilet bowl. Hit my head on the tub going down but was oblivious to that when it happened. Truthfully, I didn’t know where I was … All I could remember was the soft mat under my back and Adam’s panicked face staring at me. For that momentary feeling of a fleeting awareness, I decided that I wanted to stay where I was because I was feeling quite cozy and nothing else matters. It’s like hitting a “Pause” on busy highway and watch the cars stop while you figure a way to cross the road.

Eventually, we picked up some health supplements to speed things up and finally, on day 4, we’re back from Zombieland. I wanted to cry when Adam suggested that we do a set of Kayla to kick-start our system.

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Sophie giving some encouragement to Daddy. Mommy got none =(

It was hard keeping last night’s dinner from decorating the floor but we made it!

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Let it Go… Let it GOOOOOO!

Can’t hold it back anymoreeeeee!!

hopefully the people behind us don’t know it’s me …. *sniff*

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We checked out the Ice Castles with Pam and Paul. It was pretty … and bloody cold. Weather App said it was 2 Degrees …. Yeah right.

 

 

Keepsakes

I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a blog again for a while. The last time I shared my personal life online was almost 10 years ago. I stopped because I realized I’ve been very candid with my thoughts and shameless self-promoting. Consequently, I developed a reasonable fear of my “not-so-secret” life jeopardizing my future (ie. Getting a job).

The reason I wanted to get back into blogging again was the “On this Day” app on Facebook. I was smart enough (back then) to link my blogposts to Facebook notes. So, every now and then, I’ll receive a reminder on memories that happened over the years. It’s almost like reading a diary, except that it was all over the Internet. No matter how embarrassing or silly the posts were, it was nostalgic to read my young self. I was so carefree with my writings and had no fear of being judged. With age, I gradually became conservative with expressing my thoughts and eventually stopped sharing them completely.

Enough of this resignation talk. First posts should be a little more exciting. Like How I Met Adam – the love of my life.

It all started on the last shift of my job, 4 years ago. Time flies. I wrote a farewell email to all the people I worked with in that department. I received a lot of a well wishes and of course, one email stood out more than the others.

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I read and re- read it probably 10 times before I sent my reply. A little backstory to this …. Adam and I had little to no social interactions when we were in the same area. We had an amicable working relationship but that was all. He was known as a very serious, quiet and very demanding person. Plus, almost all the girls in my area had crushes on him. I remember during my co-op, I’d hear girls gushing about him and I’m like who’s this Adam. He was the youngest manager and of course, cute to boot. I admit, I too thought he was attractive but I refuse to Erm, be part of that cult. Plus, he was also unavailable so it was a no-go zone for me. For a couple years at least. And that brings me back to the fateful email.

I wrote back and half anticipating that he probably won’t respond. I honestly thought he was just being polite. But of course !

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He replied and left me even more confused . I even consulted a close male friend – Myz – to analyze the emails … Yes, I was that clueless.

“He’s obviously interested in you. He’s asking questions and initiating conversation!”

When I heard that, I was giddy and nervous with excitement. Giddy because it’s been a while I’ve had any romantic encounters. Nervous because I’ve had so many dissapointing relationships that I was at the verge of giving up on finding love at all. Truthfully, I was at my lowest point in my dating history. I even entertained the idea of dating very wrong and incompatible men but I wasn’t that desperate yet.

“OMG What should I I say???!!” 

I wrote and re-wrote my reply multiple times because I didn’t want to come across too strong nor appear too interested ….. All the shitty online dating advice crossed my mind while I stared at my response. Ugh. I hit Send, went on my Yoga Ashram Cult retreat and not think about it anymore. After all, why dream so high when the sky is unattainable? (Such terrible self-confidence I had)

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Play it cool, Don’t be a fool …

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Be still my beating heart …

I consulted Myz again.

Should I add him on BBM? Would it be too aggressive? Will he think I’m desperate ?!!! What do I do ??!!!!

“Just do it.”

And so I did. Best decision I’ve ever made in my life.